"A terror attack is likely to occur… we have nothing to indicate any specific plots… but there’s a possibilities of plots. There’s potential. So be concerned."
"So… things are terrible?" asked a concerned journalist.
"Well, no. Go about life as usual. You’re not at risk."
"I thought we were?"
"Well you are… but don’t worry about it."
"So, you’re bringing it to our attention that we shouldn’t be concerned about the increased danger?"
"Yeah," said Tony. "There is no need to worry about increased threats. Not while the Liberal government is on it. Trust me. I’ve seen my fair share of student protesters, I know how to handle a scary situation… but don’t be scared… of all that danger you should think about… which is real but not important but still kinda important…"
He then dropped a very pathetic smoke bomb that failed to cover him as the smoke quickly blew away, and backed away slowly while waving his arms and whispering “terrorism is coming for us, but don’t worry about it…”
I read this to my brother and he had to ask if they were real quotes.